Some Sad News...

So, the time that we have been dreading has come. A relative of Lexy's has stepped forward to take her. Her caseworker came for a visit a couple of weeks ago and told me she had some exciting news. Then she dropped the bomb and I felt my heart tear out of my chest. I knew that this would happen, I mean, we are "foster" parents after all, but maybe I was searching for some sliver of hope.

The bottom line is that John and I just don't feel like our family is complete yet. Yes, I have given birth to two amazing kiddos, but for us the adventure doesn't stop there. (And anyone who knows my large, loud and crazy family realizes why two is only the beginning for us.) We initially started out on the road to adoption, but felt prompted to switch gears to fostering several months later. It is hard to realize what the Lord has planned for you.

So here we are, back to my beautiful Lexy. The caseworker tells us that it is her mother's cousin that lives in Roseburg (about an hour south of us.) They sound just fantastic. They are the parents of three teenagers, they have been at their great jobs forever, and they are completely estranged from Lexy's immediate family. From the sounds of it they will be a great resource for her. (Yes, it does sound like I am handling it well, but I am really NOT!) I was told on Friday that the family has started their homestudy and things will probably be happening in a week or two. "Things" being defined as transitioning Lexy down south already. Of course, as much as I am praying for a delay, I don't know which would be worse...to have her taken from us in the next week or two, or to have it drag on over the next few months???

I am trying to get through this the best that I know how....not think about it. Our entire family...the kids, John, my parents, my family...we are all pretty much crushed. We are just trying to spend as much quality time with her as possible and hope that this family will be open to us keeping in contact.

So to answer the question on everyone's minds, Yes, we plan on taking in another child. My mother and sister of course think that I am crazy. Everyone can see how much this is hurting me, but there is something great at work here. All I can think of is what a gift that our family has been able to give to Lexy. She is totally thriving in this environment full of people who love her soooo very much. Even if it has only been for 5 months, how could I not give that gift to another child??? We have talked with the kids about it, and John and I have talked a great deal. We have been trying to rationalize why we should or shouldn't take another child. Things like me starting student teaching in January which means full time daycare, or how easy it is to have two totally self sufficient children. But what it all boils down to is that call that we get telling us that some little boy or little girl needs a good home for a little while. The kids understand this and look forward to helping someone else.

So now that you have read through miles and miles of mindless babble, here are some pictures of our smallest muchkin.



She got the color crayons and book out of the craft closet all by herself.



So then she would dump out all the crayons, color for a while and then try to put all the crayons back into the box.



She would then start the process all over again! :)



The last hour had been spent in the garden with daddy and Hunter and she was totally beat from picking all of the veggies. She decided to take a break and devour a HUGE tomato from the garden. She ate the entire tomato! What you don't see in this picture is that John and Hunter are sitting with her at the table doing the same thing.



Lexy and I had played playdough together for over an hour this particular morning, then after nap I see her run to the craft closet and then run to the table with her cup and some playdough. She dumps them on the table, runs back to the closet and comes back with a rolling pin and toys. She then proceeds to play with said playdough as if nothing is out of the ordinary. It cracked me up, she is so independant!



Can't even remember what happened, but what a great picture!



Making pancakes with mom on Sunday morning.



Helping mom with vacuming the floors. Notice the new addition to our dining room in the background. A huge sheet of wood that helps keep Roxy out of the living room. Lexy knows that she can slide it out of the way to get in and out of the room and then she slides it closed when she has gone through.



She has decided that she no longer wants to help, but needs to take a break.